The Puzzler

I shared yesterday about how my dad and I have a love for putting puzzles together.  A connection ~ or bond ~ that has lasted and I have passed down to my babies.

The working together.  The working alone.  The frame.  The color sorting.  The types of pieces sorting.  The conversations!

More than the learning and life experience, more than the quality family time ~ My puzzle time growing up was with someone who chose me, someone who took me in, someone who loved me when he didn’t have to.  Chose me to be part of his family.  And, most of all, accepted me.  Accepted me with all of my flaws.

He understood what I needed.  Pushed when I needed the extra “umph.” Stood back when I needed alone time.  His time … his acceptance … gave me confidence.  Never once did he say anything to tear me down.

It was that frame … the frame of the puzzle ~ it built trust.  Trust a relationship is built upon.  Trust that went both ways.  Trust that I would figure it out.  Trust that would let me fall when I needed to learn.  And, a trust that I would be guided so I would not stay down.

I know this person wasn’t perfect.  I never expected him to be ~ nor did he expect perfection from me.  What a beautiful concept to learn … Love through the imperfections.

I realize now, that was the frame of my puzzle.  The key in the foundation of my relationships, in my marriage, in being a mom, in my confidence, in my independence, in my faith, in my strength, in my ability to love.

Someone shared with me over the weekend, “When I watch you, you love fully.  You love with your entire heart.  You give it all.  And, sometimes, you don’t get that back in return.  You continue to love.”

That puzzle frame … doesn’t leave me feeling puzzled.  In fact, it gives me concrete information and experiences to keep going.  It was a love like Jesus.  It was a love like Jesus without even know it (at the time).

My foundation was all part of God’ plan.  I think about what my life would have been like or where I would be right now.  One man’s decision changed my entire world.  I learned what it felt like to be accepted.  I experienced and saw love at its finest.  To hear someone say, “I love you.  I choose you to be part of my family.”  that changes your heart.

It is a bit of heaven on earth, as God chooses us each and every moment of the day.  He desires us to be a part of His family.  He accepts us … flaws and all.  He gives us confidence and never does anything to tear us down.  He is always there watching, guiding.  He leaves to ourselves when we need to be.  He never expects us to be perfect.  Knowing this … Loving Us Enough … Accepting Us as We Are … His love is the frame of everything good in our lives.  His love … is Jesus.

Thank you to the man who accepted me … and helped create the foundation … the frame … of how I love … of my heart … of me.

(Part 2)

A Seed’s Comfort Zone

It is easy to plant a seed.  The hardest part of planting a seed … is waiting for it to grow.  Even if it is just a glimpse that your work has not gone unnoticed.

We, as human beings, are much like a seed.  God has planted us in a nice soil.  The soil is rich.  Someone else is taking care of it.  It is being watered.  The sun shines abundantly.

The seed (us) begins to grow.  We are growing up through this nice comfortable soil.  It feels so good.  It has everything we need.  We made it through the birds attempts to pluck us form this soil.  In human words … Satan’s attempts to steal us from Jesus’ loving arms and distract us off path.

So, yes, we continue to grow.  Our roots weak and still a bit surface.  Our bloom is getting bigger ~ our stem will be entrusted with the fruits of our work, of our growth.

The soil still tends to us.  It protects us.  Keeps us feeling comfortable.  Our roots get a bit deeper.  Our stem grows closer to the top of the soil in search of the sun.  In search of the place we can bloom.

This is where most of us get stuck.  The last step before the breakthrough.  The top of soil.  Will we get there.  Will the seed of “us” break through?

God plants us in our mother’s womb.  The womb is meant to care for us, giving us the right nutrients, creating a comfortable place for us.  It is the start of the planting of our own seed.  Once a mother finds out she is pregnant, carrying the seed, she begins to wonder what purpose that seed will fulfill.  What is God’s plan for this precious seed?  She takes care of her body because it is the temple of the seed.  Satan tries to pick that seed by creating anxiety and uncertainty in the mother’s heart. Your life is about to change he whispers in your ear.  Money.  Sleep.

Will she see the seed through to the break through … to the bloom?

As “adults” God allows the Holy Spirit to plants seeds in our heart.  That seed is meant to grow into Jesus in our lives.  Satan tries to pick that seed by creating sickness, doubt, trouble, insecurity.  Your life will change he yells in your thoughts.  No more fun.  No more doing whatever you want to do.

Will you accept God’s call on your heart?  Will you have that breakthrough when you head dips under the water in baptism?

If the seed stops before it reaches the top of the soil, before it breaks through the soil, it will never see its fruit.  You must breakthrough in order to see your fruit.

How do you breakthrough?  How do you leave the comfort zone?  It is so comfortable ~ and the other side is unknown.  OH NO!  The Unknown!  It is what keeps us from the breakthroughs.

If all seeds stop at the top ~ never pushing through ~ there would be no fruit for anyone to eat, to grow.  No trees for the birds and animals to live.  No flowers for the bees pollenate.  No honey.  No air to breath.  This all leads to the death of the seed … all seeds.

At some point in our life, it comes to a place when it is our choice to push through ~ to take care of the our seed.  To know/faith/believe that the fruit will come.

And, in this faith, in this belief, tests will come.  Satan still wants your seed.  He wants to keep your seed from spreading ~ from planting other seeds.

These tests … God wants us to see what we will do with the test.  He already knows.  The beauty of His plan.  He wants us to see what we will do.  He wants us to see our faith growing.  He wants us to see that the seed will have fruit.  He wants us to know …

It brings confidence.

It grows our faith.

It plants more seeds in our own lives and in the lives of those around us.

When a mother is in the birthing room, she must push through her comfort zone in order to see their baby.  To see that seed come to fruition.

When you allow the seed of Jesus grow in your heart, and you push through the comfort zone to accept Him as your Savior, the fruit, the glorious fruit you will now see in your life is amazing.  When you leave behind your past self and follow Jesus into water baptism, pushing through the comfort zone of “What will people think of me?” or the devil’s whisper of “You won’t fit in any where.  No one will like you.  They will only know you as the Jesus freak,” you will go in the water as one person and come out NEW.  You are part of the Kingdom.  Your Father is King.  You will glow with confidence that find only in your new family.

If the mother didn’t push through … she would never know the love you feel when that baby comes out.  If you never accept Jesus, you will never know the love you will receive and newness you can become.

You are a seed … right now … sitting in your nice comfortable soil.  You are willing to grow only to the top of soil.  It is such hard work and so much trust is involved in pushing through the top of soil.  PUSH.  Push today.  And, the excitement you will see and find in your heart when that first glimpse of the bud, of the stem, pushing through.  It makes it all worth it.

Make Like a Tree

Make like a tree and “leave.”

We know this is a play on words.  But, in all things, we can find meaning.

God is offering us opportunities every moment of every day, our fear gets in the way of hearing, listening, and doing.  Our stubbornness gets in the way.  Our pride gets in the way.  It is up to us to hear, to listen, and to do.

God’s magnificent creation was done on purpose with purpose.  There is meaning in each and every part of what God created. Nature is the perfect parable for our lives.  And, there is a reason for this.  We are part of nature each and every day.  We can observe it, study it, interact with it, and learn from it.

Trees and Leaves is something that I have been studying lately.  Maybe it has something to do with the change of leaves … the beautiful colors.  And, there are some trees that willingly let go of their leaves, and now, there are the others.  The others holding on to those last few.  And, the those who haven’t lost but a few.

The trees know … God created them this exact way … to shed their leaves.  They let them go.

Leaves … leave.

Why is this so important? The tress know that something new is coming in the spring.  For the “new” to be received, they must get rid of the old.

Just like us!  There are times in our lives we have the shed the old to gain new!

People.

Life Styles.

Choices.

Thoughts.

It is fabulous knowing God has created us for something amazing … and has more He desire to give to us.  For us to gain that … we have to let go of what is currently in our hands, our minds, where our feet are taking us, and our hearts.

Moving forward … letting go … LEAVING …

It can be scary.  We don’t want our hands to be empty.  Think about the trees for a moment.  They are pretty bare for a couple of months out of every year.  EVERY YEAR the “leave.”  I look at the trees in my backyard and those down the streets as I drive.  Some where such beautiful vibrant colors … why would they want to let that go?

But, they did.

They did knowing ~ KNOWING ~ God is going to replenish them to an even more glorious creation.  Because they will grow, they will spend time “hibernating” as they wait for the first taste of spring.

There is something magical about the first taste of spring.  We all know what spring represents … renewal … rebirth.

In order to have that … you must let go of the past … your past life … your past choices … and sometimes your past circle (friends, acquaintances, church, employers, employees, etc.)

When we “leave,” we know it will come with questions.  These questions tend to halt us in our tracks or pull us back to our old ways.  If we go outside right now and question the trees about “leaving,” would they stop?  You know the answer.  So, maybe, just maybe … we need to take a lesson from the trees.  They don’t care what we think; they are doing what they are supposed to be doing.

The last few years have been a roller coaster.  We have seen endings … beginnings … and endings that brought new beginnings and beginnings that brought other things to an end.  There were moments I struggled with “leaving” others behind.  There were moments I ran back.  There were moments I was so obsessed with what one person thought of me or would do to me … I stayed in their life as a friend.  That friendship … kept me from many new beginnings.  That friendship kept me in some limiting beliefs.  That friendship held back my relationship with God.

It was someone I had allowed to get close to me.  I thought God had brought them into my life for a reason.  And, I know now that it was … I had to learn.  This person became one of my best friends.  I shared with them.  Our families got close.  We did dinners.  We did family events.  And, then all of sudden, I was sucked in.  As I was choosing to better myself and my relationships around me … they wanted to hold on to what was there.  I saw the red flags, but I wouldn’t “let myself see them.”  Everyone I wanted to reach out to form a relationship, they would bad mouth.  Sucked in further.  I was letting this person control what and how I thought about people.  When I realized that my friendship with them was not healthy … my thoughts went to those of “What will this person say about me? What will they think?  What will they do? How will they portray me to those people we have in common?”

It is amazing how we can let someone get in our heads. And, those people know it and work it to try to control our thoughts.

When we make the decision to leave … to shed … to let God renew us … 

Finally … the break through.  Freedom!

It shouldn’t matter what others think of us … we have heard this before.  We have also heard “the only thing that matters is what we think of ourselves.”

I dare you to take it further.  It doesn’t matter what others think of us.  It doesn’t matter what we think of ourselves.  We DO have to LIVE with us.  What matters is what God thinks of us!

In Need of a Father

This is one (as always) straight from heart. And, it a personal glimpse into the life a child who desired a father.

Sometimes our minds race backward for a moment ~ like our life is stuck on “rewind.”  There was a smell, a picture, an object that sent long-term memories flooding your head and crazy glue is attached to them because BAM, they are now stuck in your short-term focus.

Recently, I experienced this ~ putting photos in files, I notice a photo of Isabella and Keith from the Daddy-Daughter Dance earlier this year.

Not long after, I saw a post or ad regarding “mother/son, father/daughter, mother/daughter and father/son” outings.  I don’t really remember the specific of what triggered the memory … because it isn’t important.  What is important to me is that the memory was triggered.

I remember being in New York, in elementary school so about the first or second grade.  And, I was in Girl Scouts.  Now this is probably 1984. So, no one thought twice about doing a Father/Daughter Dance with Girl Scouts.

Father/Daughter Dance.

At this time in my life, I didn’t have a father.  I didn’t have a dad.  My grandfather had been my father figure.  Pa as I called him along with 2 uncles.  Kind of a weird twist on that show Full House.

Until this time, maybe I had noticed I didn’t have a dad.  Or, maybe I hadn’t.  I think I believe my life was just my life ~ normal for me.  Most kids are like this until a point.

That father/daughter dance was that point for me.  I remember the pain, the loneliness.  It was hard because only one of my friends came from divorced parents.  And, that friend still had both her parents in her daily life.  (This is by no means a slam against my parents.  This is rather an experience of a little girl.)

(Just  a bit of background to help you understand why this memory is etched so deep.  Why this memory means so much to the rest of my life as well as my relationship with God. Being the one and only.  1984, even though divorce was accepted, it is not like today where you may be the only one in your class living with both your parents who are married and have been married for years.)

Now … back to the story, to the memory.  Realizing I didn’t have a father, I believed I couldn’t go to that dance.  I was the only girl without a dad.  I would be the only girl not there.  Oh, if I could only go back to 6-year-old me and comfort her.  Tell her it would be okay.

Because it was okay.  It is okay.  Did someone step up and meet the (short-term) need of a Father for the dance.  Yes.  Did I go?  We got there … but it just didn’t feel right for me.  I remember walking in the door and desiring to go home.  Maybe I was okay … to just wait for the right person to come along.  Crazy as that sounds … a 6-year-old know that there was something or someone better.  A trust in a God that I didn’t really know at that time.  A trust in life.

God knew what I needed.  For not long after that … God provided someone in my life to be a long-term father figure.  To be a long-term father.  To eventually become a dad.  And, that person … we moved.  And, because we moved, I did get to know God and Jesus on a more personal level.

There is a big difference in my world, in my heart, between a Father and a Dad.  I didn’t realize that I needed both.  A Father to take care of my daily needs and a Dad to take of my heart.  He gave me that in 1 person.

It calls me to share … There are places in all of our lives that feel empty, unnoticed by others, alone, unfulfilled. Sometimes that is physical void and other times emotional. God steps in through all these needs and fills them. Either with His love and presence. Or, he places someone to be here physically. Do you know of someone right now who has a need you can fill? Maybe, you are the only one who can meet that need. Have faith in yourself today ~ in your talents/gifts (you know, the ones God gave you) and then have Faith in the Plan that God Created just for you … Do it. Have fun. Enjoy. Be blessing today for someone else. I promise you it will bless your life more than you could ever imagine.